Loyola Love

Today is the 31^st of July. 2016. That implies two things: First, today is Loyola day! And Second, I've finished school already. But I couldn’t be less excited about today. Loyola has left such a lasting impression on me, it has polished my rough edges, taught me to stand a little taller, laugh a little louder and care a lot more. I remember when I first joined school in third grade I didn’t like it, and complained to mom about how “easy” maths was in ICSE schools (I did totally regret saying that in tenth though, before the boards, you know). The school however, as it turned out was not that bad a place. Few months in and I loved it, I enjoyed coming to a place where teachers were not only teachers but friends and guides, where seniors weren’t bossy and snobbish but cool and fun (also hot).

I had two sections when I began school. What actually happened was that a Father (or who i thought was a Father) told me I belonged to one particular section so i went there not bothering to check the notice for allotted sections. When the class teacher asked about my name not being on the attendance register i said, "Father told me I was in this section". After around two weeks the class teacher of my actual allotted section realized I was in school, she came to me and said that's your section, pointing to another classroom. So I had to go. The new section was equally great, and it made me understand how comfortable i had grown to be at Loyola.

But that is not all about Loyola! Frankly, there is just so much about Loyola i couldn’t fit it in here even if i tried.  Loyola led me to discover so many things, it honed talents, built some and the best thing it never imposed conformity rules about who one should be- you do you but be kind, that's Loyola. (it is also “ In all things to love and to serve.”) Thanks to Loyola I have amazing friends, great teachers, some stupid crazy memories but many totally awesome ones too. The nuances of the mundane survival in Loyola seem like one the most magical things that happened. Few days back while talking about Loyola, my friend and I tried to figure out why we love it as much as we do; turns out that it was not that Loyola just educated us in the conventional sense(which it did) but it also taught us about things beyond the pages of a book, of things that are so necessary for surviving today which come to us as second nature because they’ve been so deeply ingrained into our personalities. It completed a huge fraction of our being. L for Loyola, L for love. Loyola is and always will be “A school with a difference!”

Will You Know?

On some evenings,
I wonder,
I wonder who painted the sky so blue,
Who mixed the day & night,
And decided that we should be.
Did He?
Or was it a She?
Was there ever any one?
Maybe the stars just exist,
And sun just shines
By the laws that we humans devised.
Perhaps, magic is just an excuse to excite ourselves,
And dreams of love are frail thoughts let loose.
Who knows?
Did the poets get a glimpse?
Or did the science men discover?
Of the great reality we talk so easily.
Will I ever know?
Will you?

Two Boats

Well it’s been a long journey. And I’m not yet tired. There is still so much left to explore and discover, and even if we run out of things to explore and discover we will have a nice time basking in the memories of our journey. Although a part of me wants that this journey never end, and we travel together all the time, but another part of me knows that this will not be possible. We can’t be in the same boat when we have to travel to different destinations. So unwillingly I have to accept the inevitability of the fact that you and I will travel in different boats for quite some time now.

I know that even though our destinations are different and we both are equally unsure about our reaching them in time, we are guided by the same drive: hunger for achievement. All psychology students will tell you there are primarily four drives in a human being. I consider the drive for achievement to be the dominating one in both of us. After all, we didn’t come onto earth to live and soak in its beauty without contributing to it in whichever way possible. And when we have a chance to choose the way, why not choose the best and make it large?

At times, the way we’ll choose will make us run after it, run all through the day. There will be a point where we’ll feel like giving up on the chosen way and also, on ourselves. Ah! But that is the real test of passion, to hold onto your choice even when nothing around you seems to be making sense. To stay with your choice when the world is telling you to give up. To stay determined. There are ought to be moments when you feel down but remember your greater purpose, the reason for your drive and keep moving. There is no problem if you move slowly; the problem arises if you refuse to move. So don’t.

There will be moments of utter happiness and satisfactions too, enjoy them, but also know that they too, like moments of sorrow are temporary. Remember when Chandragupta Maurya won a battle he did not spend away all night celebrating, he rather started to plan his next move. We need to move with that focus. We need to make our names that large, so that kids centuries after us, know who we were and why we were.

Needless to say there will always be up and downs and we have to face them both with equal courage and foresight. The reason why a term for a roller coaster going only up isn’t coined is because it is highly improbable. The two have to co-exist, up and down, black and white, sweet and sour; that’s what makes our little time on earth worthy of remembering.

We both are similar and not same. I don’t expect you to take the same decisions I consider right, but I do expect you to not take a different decision just because I chose the one you wanted. We can share.

What remains at the end of the day is only how much we contribute, in our own ways, and how close did we get to our greater purpose. I hope we both always remember this and keep moving. After all, there is going to be a time when we both will be on the same boat, for the same destination, again.

This is a piece of work I wrote for my best friend an year ago and never had the wish to email it.

 

Sunday Morning Strangers

Sunday mornings call for a relax in the daily routine. Sunday also happens to be the day when I have intensive driving session with my instructor. so I wore my running shoes, not because I was going to run but because my instructor prefers to teach me in them.
After a lot of driving, we stopped at a road which was beautifully surrounded by tree and shrubs. After some distance it led to the main road. My instructor stopped the car on my query related to the mechanism by which the brake works. We drew to left and stopped. He drew heavily labelled diagrams  to illustrate the working which were followed by analogies that made it  much more easier for me to grasp the concept. But me, being the kinesthetic personality I am and luckily my instructor was too, we got the car. We opened the bonnet of the car, and were viewing and examining the various parts related to the brake which he had so carefully drawn.
From a distance it must have appeared that two individuals were musing how to fix the car, touching wires and several parts of the engine unable to reach a conclusive decision about how to fix the car and get going.
The road wasn't a busy one, so not many people passed us. some of the passer-bys looked at us with amazement about how could someone possibly get a car broken so early in the day, while few other just gave us sympathetic glances which were supposed to be consoling. Then, just as we finished with the mechanism of the power brake, sir tried to locate it when a motor cycle with two men drew up- probably a father-son duo and muttered some words. The younger one who was driving wore reflectors so I couldn't pinpoint whom he was talking to while the elder looked at me for an answer. I stared at them dumbfounded while sir went on explaining. getting no response, they didn't persist instead left the sight.
After shutting the bonnet, when i began to drive again the words the guy had spoken made a statement in my head which translated to should we fix it for you guys? or call help? I was happy. A random stranger, that too an Indian male (if you know what I mean) had offered to help and that too, without rubbing chauvinism in my face. Getting no answer he didn't shout or do any such thing but rather left the place, that too without swearing abut how stupid people are. pleasant surprise. :)

Dear Stranger,
Thank you for offering to fix my car (and call help if required )while I was studying the engine's parts. I couldn't piece your words together at that moment to comprehend what you exactly meant, but now that I do- here's a big thank you.

#Let'sTalkAbout-- Depression

I'm a Psychology student. One of my family members suffered from Depression. None of us have any feeling of guilt or embarrassment in talking about it. Depression has nothing to do with how strong one is, rather the strongest are those who admit to need of help and not they, who sit around and declare them to me mad. In India, there are social stigmas attached to several things one of which is depression. Why? I ask. When there is no stigma around having any physical disease then why is having a curable mental illness stigmatized?
Friends try to brush away the topic or at declare one to be attention-hungry and thus "Doing drama". But Depression is not drama, nor is it seeking attention, it is not anything an ill-informed prejudiced person tells you; It is-
A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It interferes with daily life, normal functioning, and causes pain for both the person with the disorder and those who care about him or her.
A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Depression is a common but serious illness, and most people who experience it need treatment to get better. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.
Depression can sometimes occur without any apparent cause, other times it may be triggered by a traumatic experience. Studies also blame certain genes for pre-disposing people to depression. 

India has the most number of depressed people in the World, it also has the highest Suicide rate in the world. As early as 2011, 36% of the nation was suffering from Depression, in 2012 over 2,50,000 individuals committed suicide. And yet, talking openly about depression is a taboo in the country. While people have no qualms in visiting a doctor when they have cold n cough, people hesitate largely to visit a psychologist when they feel they have a mental ailment as they consider it to be a fruit of their own minds and thoughts thus holding themselves responsible.
Indians, generally, do not wish to discuss the topic of depression due to the outdated orthodox belief that if someone is suffering from it he/she must be mad. Many people are apprehensive about consulting a doctor for their mind, as they are afraid of being judged not only by the society at large but also by their own family members.
This however needs to be changed. The topic of Depression needs to be de-stigmatized.
Depression is just another disease, and like any other ailment can be cured by medicines if one consults a doctor at the right time. The hush-hush discussions about depression need to be done openly without any shame. The patients needs to be convinced that it is not their fault, and that having depression does not imply that they are mad. We need to broaden our mindsets to accommodate the simple fact that mental ailments are not a cause for ostracizing people or to gossip about them. Mental ailments need to accepted like any physical ailment would be, and be treated.
A nation of 1.2 billion people deserves to talk openly about mental illnesses the way it would about any physical illness.

Teacher 2014

I've been meaning to write this post for quite a while now, but due to my impending examinations (just 6 days away) I kept delaying it, putting it off until all my exams got over (that would be 15th of January) but being the impulsive writer that I am I couldn't really contain myself anymore. Too much to ask for.:P


So I've decided to put up what I learned this year in this particular post . Obviously I cant put up Everything, the highlights maybe. This is was typically different for me. I don't even remember this year in a proper chronology! As in what happened when and then what happened and so on (you get it, right? ) I don't even remember this year's festivals properly! (except Diwali somehow :P) So here it goes.

#1 People Are Not What They Seem, Always.
 When we meet someone for the first time we form an impression about them, positive or negative, but we always do. There are many things that contribute to this impression, for example you may have heard about the person from  gossips. And then when you meet them you already have a layer of introduction about them in your mind. As your conversations progress you form a rough idea of how the person perhaps is.
But then here lies the catch. People are not what they seem. The Sweet girl you met may not really be so sweet- well she can even be a serial killer, you never know! And the boy whom you found Super-Rude? probably he has a dysfunctional family and needs you the most.

 #2 Go back to the roots, Introspect.
When I began to really dislike One Direction ( You & I, was that even a proper video! >_<) I started to wonder why I even liked this band in the first place.What Makes You Beautiful came to the rescue, like seriously!
And then I realized as we grow we just keep going on with our choices without re-evaluating them, trusting that the decisions we made in the past were be right and will probably continue to be so. I think that's wrong. We need to sit down with a calm mind, go over the decisions, and think about it. Were the decisions worth it? Were they right? Did they lead you where you wanted to go? Would you, if given a choice, go back in time and take the same decision again?
 Only you can determine your life and your life is a result of the decisions you take, so be careful, decide wisely

#3 People will Always Judge you and your choices.
 
Yes they will. Irrespective of what you do. If you don't talk they'll judge you and even if you talk they'll judge you. You wear outrageously provocative clothes or a burqa, you top the test or score a zero, They Will Judge You. It is human tendency. The best thing to do, thus, is follow your mind, do what you want and not bother about log kya kehenge. Do Not Seek Validation. You are perfect, remember that.
 Your choices, your life, don't let anyone else be a reason why you change your actions or preferences.


#4 Dream big, very Big!

 Wanna score over 90% in the upcoming test? Why not aim for 100% ? you mayn't achieve it, but hey! You may as well. You might end up with a 95%, that's better than the 90% you were aiming for na? Just dreaming isn't of course of any help, you need to work for it. Work hard. "To have something you never had, you need to do something you never did."





#5 Be with the Right Kind of people.


Be with people who share your passion, feed your soul, care about you, understand you and don't ask you to change. That my dear friends, is a simple formula for happiness. Instead of being with people who you think you'll like, be with people who genuinely like you. It's tough to figure out but then nothing is impossible. Life is too short to waste on people who don't deserve you and make you feel bad about yourself. Never let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, you are, they are just too blind to see it.




#6 Don't cry for something you didn't fight for.





If you want something fight for it, give it all you have instead of curling up in a corner and sulking about it. You need to fight your own battles, no one will do that for you. It is your life after all.




#7 Make Peace with Yourself.



Yes, make peace With yourself. Some time ago I had read that acceptance is the biggest teacher and I outright rejected it. The year slowly taught me the same lesson. If you're bad at some sport or at being a good friend or any other thing for that matter, accept that you are bad at it. It Is Fine. Only after you accept it, will you be actually ready to do something about it. Bad at Cricket? Take classes to improve your game. Pat yourself and scold yourself too. But don't let others' words affect you too much.




#8 Take a Break

 In the rush of life today, we so often forget to slow down and be grateful for our lives. We are too busy with work. Take care of yourself first. Your health and mental peace come before any test/project/deal. Ensure it. Once in a while take a break, go out , breathe the fresh air, listen to the birds chirp, feel the ground, the grass, see the vast sky. Remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing and re-energize yourself for it. Put yourself first.

Of Stress, Exams, and Me

I am so stressed at the moment, nothing is able to calm me down. I feel like a volcano which is going to explode any second now. So I decided to vent out on the blog. my pre-ISC are due 14 days from now, ...And the syllabus needless to say is humongous & I needless to say, haven't finished it. It is now that I see the glaring loop-holes of our education system  crystal clear, mocking me for falling prey to them. So much theory, so much theory, so much theory, I feel like I'm compiling an encyclopedia in my notes. There are so many concepts, so many finer aspects, so much to understand and learn that it has overwhelmed me right now. 
I have five subjects, out of which Political Science is my least favorite. I mean I love reading about American Congress and stuff but then don't ask me memorize it and reproduce it on my exam sheet. It stresses me out. I mean there is so much we all know which we don't write down but then we still know it na? It is still there in our memory. A few chapters to comprehend and mug up are okay, but then sooooo many? Really? What are we? Machines? or better, Microsoft Word? I am aware that writing long answers is a way of testing our understanding of the concepts and grasp of the subject but hello, there are other ways too, which are less stressful for students like multiple choice questions, weekly tests, practical application tests, etc, etc.
It is my fault also, I agree, I can't remember stuff for long; like I can remember them fairly long but not like very long. I have to read so many chapters that suppose I read chapter one today, by the time I read chapter 20 I will have forgotten the details of the first chapter. It is obviously common with everyone, but it at the moment frightens me.

What if I don't do well in my pre-boards? Some colleges check these marks for admission and, as if there are many seats for a 'general' student. SCs and STs get 50% seats, students of the state get 10% . Considering that there are 60 seats, 60% are already reserved, so I have to compete in the remaining 24 seats where students from all over the country are applying?! Not that I doubt my abilities or my getting into a good college but then it scares me. Other colleges take boards marks into consideration. What if I spoil it there? Then? What next?

And even though it'd be wiser if I stopped writing this post now and went off to study, I don't want to . SEE! That's the kind of pressure I am under -- every second I spend doing anything other than studying I feel Guilty. I feel defeated, like I am cheating my own self into a bad life. My friends say I stress too much but then there is simply no way I can stop it from happening it isn't like I tell myself "Let's start to stress and then I start. No no no. It just kicks in. They say stress is harmful for me but then isn't not studying, scoring low, not getting into the college I wish to, not being to prove myself both as a remarkable female and a human, ruining my life harmful too? My parents are thankfully the cooperative ones. They don't fret if I get low marks but then I fret. They are my marks na! How do I not? There's simply so much to study & learn.

 I feel better now. The magma is receding and the surrounding atmosphere is cooling down. And also when you read this don't take all my words very very seriously, I was stressed after all! ;)

Te Amo

( Gosh, my love for Spain and Spanish seems to be spilling into the titles! :P English next time, promise! )

Love. It is really one of the most used and abused word in our vocabularies. Ask a guy who hardly knows English, he will invariably know the meaning of 'love' even if he doesn't know the number of alphabets in the language! Love has been romanticized, idealized, worshiped and what not in the past. There are legendary love stories, pray, who hasn't heard of Romeo and Juliet? Or our very own Heer and Ranjhanna? Bollywood churns out movie after movie on the same theme : love. Our daily soaps cry for change!
(Obviously it's of no avail. )
Here I'm not going to further raise the status of love but rather present my views on it. They may, rather, they are cynical, but are mine and in no way wish to alter your views forcefully on the subject.
Love to me is humorous, silly. 

1. People in love are always consumed in thoughts
Thoughts about? Heavens know what! But you always see them thinking, musing with all seriousness, as if the future of the human race hangs on their pensive thoughts. Break their train of thoughts and they still seem disconnected. You have to repeat your description (from the beginning, yes!) for them all again. 

Yeah!

2. The wrong people always end up together.
The people who you least expect to see together take their vows of eternal love in front of your eyes! The Byronic hero/heroine gets the athlete, the poet gets the cheerleader, the sports king/queen gets the extrovert, and so on.. And even though reading them here does not make you realize the intensity of harm done to the universe by such "couples", you should take my word for it. It is always weird, at times super-funny too!

3. PDA
Need I say more? 

4.Silly names, rituals and wishes
Why on earth will you be liked to be called "puchu", "guchu" or wait, how about "tweety"? There are tons more I've heard people say. Some force you to stifle a laughter and look all serious and continue with utmost normalcy whatever you were doing. Tough.
Good morning, goodnight, good class, etc., etc. The wishes and simultaneous rituals don't seem to have an end. Exhausting. 

5. Stories you don't wish to hear.
Everyone has that one friend who tells you snippets of their life, even though you beg them to stop. From how they picked up their partner's pen to what the other has/had for lunch, nothing is left out and while your friend is telling you about it, you are busy planning an escape route! God be with you!