Will You Know?

On some evenings,
I wonder,
I wonder who painted the sky so blue,
Who mixed the day & night,
And decided that we should be.
Did He?
Or was it a She?
Was there ever any one?
Maybe the stars just exist,
And sun just shines
By the laws that we humans devised.
Perhaps, magic is just an excuse to excite ourselves,
And dreams of love are frail thoughts let loose.
Who knows?
Did the poets get a glimpse?
Or did the science men discover?
Of the great reality we talk so easily.
Will I ever know?
Will you?

Of College, School and Smiles

Hey guys! 

Hope everyone's doing great. My life has been a huge roller coaster lately and even though I get time to post I lack the inspiration at times. Now, when my exams are hardly four days away I feel that I should write (see how weird my brain processes are?) before I get to writing anything let me clear any doubts of any human regarding if college is better than school. No. It is Not. It is so not better. 

Well of course, its more glamorous, and you feel a sense of adulthood when you tell people you're in college, but that's mostly it, no other great perks. It's rather more difficult than school in a way.

 You are just informed about the VAST syllabus, thousand assignments and hundreds of exam. You are responsible for your work.

 Remember those days back in school when the teachers used to correct our "Homework"? Well no one does it in college. Though it is a relief in one sense it is also equally a bane- no one simply cares if you have written anything or not, so when the exams come you're on your own,no one else can be blamed. smart, isn't it? It's fun too.

You have to make your own schedule of study, you HAVE to submit those assignments. No one cares when, how, or where, they just have to magically appear on the teacher's desk on the date of submission. No excuses. This can be done two ways - Either you work on a select portion everyday with a conscious plan of completing it ,or, like me stay up the entire night before the submission day and scribble whatever words related to the topic you can find and pray that your teacher doesn't rusticate you on the grounds of utterly disappointing assignments. Yeah.

Another weird thing about college is that there are no breaks. I mean, hello!? Aren't we humans supposed to eat? College is responsible for half of the malnutrition phases that I mentally imagine myself going through when I'm in the class. What is the use of not assigning breaks? Sure class sessions can be longer and stuff, but wait, if I'm hungry you think I'll be able to focus  in that extended time period ? Let me just eat please! Puh-lease!

A serious thing that troubles me about my college in specific (hope your college doesn't irritate you about this) is the lack of proper sanitation facilities. There are such few open washrooms, the ones that are open are invariably mildly stinky. Though their are more washrooms in the campus they are locked. I did think of going and complaining about it but then I decided that I should inspect all the other washrooms before I do so. So I did. And what I found wasn't pleasing. The washroom was great it had so many facilities, but it wasn't kept that way. It had been littered and dirtied. People had thrown things right on the lid of the dustbin to escape the minute effort of having to lift the lid. So yeah, good hygiene habits and sanitation facilities are very necessary.

But 

Apart from all that college is fun, you have a sense of independence and get to steer your life on your own. So have fun where ever you are whether it's in college or in school, you'll miss it when its over.Smile your way through it all :)

This Identity?

Give yourself a fictitious identity
And live it for a few days.
See the world through those eyes.

Feel the fears, the cheers, the love and the hate.
Laugh at every moment you wish to, 
And dance when ever the music demands.
Be spontaneous. Make friends, appreciate art, cry about the things that worry you.

Love like you've never loved before, 
Like you have only few days on this planet to exist,
To distribute the limitless amount of love you've been gifted with.

Be a traveler on a path you've always been a tourist on.
Make the mistakes you always wanted to.
Be afraid of nothing and live like there actually is no tomorrow.

Stay up all night. 
Talk about stardust, fairies, molecules and pizza.
Tell your deepest secrets, feel fully your inhibitions.
Realize that both you and the night are only as old as you want it to be.

Talk non-stop but enjoy also the few moments of silence when the world slows down,
And it feels like the time has frozen.
Notice the leaves, the puddles, the grass below your feet.

Meet strangers- confide in them your troubles, your dreams and aspirations.
Listen to them too- to their worries, happiness and musings.
And then go away from them, 
Like a minute of an hour that never returns.

Stay away from people,
Or stay with them,
But don't lose yourself.
Remind yourself of your importance,
Of how you are an entire universe within yourself.

Live the fictitious identity any way you wish,
Be someone you don't know,
Or someone you want to know,
Or be someone you've always known.

#Let'sTalkAbout-- Depression

I'm a Psychology student. One of my family members suffered from Depression. None of us have any feeling of guilt or embarrassment in talking about it. Depression has nothing to do with how strong one is, rather the strongest are those who admit to need of help and not they, who sit around and declare them to me mad. In India, there are social stigmas attached to several things one of which is depression. Why? I ask. When there is no stigma around having any physical disease then why is having a curable mental illness stigmatized?
Friends try to brush away the topic or at declare one to be attention-hungry and thus "Doing drama". But Depression is not drama, nor is it seeking attention, it is not anything an ill-informed prejudiced person tells you; It is-
A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It interferes with daily life, normal functioning, and causes pain for both the person with the disorder and those who care about him or her.
A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Depression is a common but serious illness, and most people who experience it need treatment to get better. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.
Depression can sometimes occur without any apparent cause, other times it may be triggered by a traumatic experience. Studies also blame certain genes for pre-disposing people to depression. 

India has the most number of depressed people in the World, it also has the highest Suicide rate in the world. As early as 2011, 36% of the nation was suffering from Depression, in 2012 over 2,50,000 individuals committed suicide. And yet, talking openly about depression is a taboo in the country. While people have no qualms in visiting a doctor when they have cold n cough, people hesitate largely to visit a psychologist when they feel they have a mental ailment as they consider it to be a fruit of their own minds and thoughts thus holding themselves responsible.
Indians, generally, do not wish to discuss the topic of depression due to the outdated orthodox belief that if someone is suffering from it he/she must be mad. Many people are apprehensive about consulting a doctor for their mind, as they are afraid of being judged not only by the society at large but also by their own family members.
This however needs to be changed. The topic of Depression needs to be de-stigmatized.
Depression is just another disease, and like any other ailment can be cured by medicines if one consults a doctor at the right time. The hush-hush discussions about depression need to be done openly without any shame. The patients needs to be convinced that it is not their fault, and that having depression does not imply that they are mad. We need to broaden our mindsets to accommodate the simple fact that mental ailments are not a cause for ostracizing people or to gossip about them. Mental ailments need to accepted like any physical ailment would be, and be treated.
A nation of 1.2 billion people deserves to talk openly about mental illnesses the way it would about any physical illness.

Travel, Just Travel.

Travel my dear child, from this end of the world to the other,
and then realize that there is no end- the world is round.

Travel meet new people and hear their stories and realize that everyone though has different embellishments the emotions are same.Travel, climb mountains, ford streams, chase rainbows
and then realize the climb is the same.
Travel, breathe in the air of different places, of cold lands and that of hot ones and then realize that you just breathe it in,
Travel, wear different dresses and accessories, roam around in them, then realize that every cloth is for covering one's body
Travel, learn new languages, speak them, realize that they express the same emotions in every language.

Travel, play new games and indulge in varied sports and then realize that all of them are for the purpose of human fitness and entertainment,
Travel, see new roads and lanes, follow them or let them follow you endlessly, and realize that they take you only where you want to go, all of them.
Travel, look out at the trees, observe their minute differences, then realize how man everywhere has used them to his own benefit,
Travel, look at the different animals, see them walk around, realize all exist for the purpose of existing,
Travel, see different lands, high and low, and realize that ultimately you walk on them or at least desire to.

Travel, go to new countries, live in their environment,  then realize that no country is free from troubles and all of them are trying to tackle them,
Travel, see new pieces of art, appreciate them, and realize that they are all expressions of human intellect and are all inter twined,
Travel, eat different foods, relish them, and then realize that they all exist to satisfy man's hunger.

Travel, see buildings, malls, schools, shops, realize their importance in our everyday life.
Travel, look at the mountains, rivers, falls, clouds, feel them and realize that nature has its own way of expressing its love and intellectual capacities.

Travel my dear child, feel new emotions, make memories, capture them.
Let them become a part of the mosaic that you are.

And then realize they made you a richer and better person.

Teacher 2014

I've been meaning to write this post for quite a while now, but due to my impending examinations (just 6 days away) I kept delaying it, putting it off until all my exams got over (that would be 15th of January) but being the impulsive writer that I am I couldn't really contain myself anymore. Too much to ask for.:P


So I've decided to put up what I learned this year in this particular post . Obviously I cant put up Everything, the highlights maybe. This is was typically different for me. I don't even remember this year in a proper chronology! As in what happened when and then what happened and so on (you get it, right? ) I don't even remember this year's festivals properly! (except Diwali somehow :P) So here it goes.

#1 People Are Not What They Seem, Always.
 When we meet someone for the first time we form an impression about them, positive or negative, but we always do. There are many things that contribute to this impression, for example you may have heard about the person from  gossips. And then when you meet them you already have a layer of introduction about them in your mind. As your conversations progress you form a rough idea of how the person perhaps is.
But then here lies the catch. People are not what they seem. The Sweet girl you met may not really be so sweet- well she can even be a serial killer, you never know! And the boy whom you found Super-Rude? probably he has a dysfunctional family and needs you the most.

 #2 Go back to the roots, Introspect.
When I began to really dislike One Direction ( You & I, was that even a proper video! >_<) I started to wonder why I even liked this band in the first place.What Makes You Beautiful came to the rescue, like seriously!
And then I realized as we grow we just keep going on with our choices without re-evaluating them, trusting that the decisions we made in the past were be right and will probably continue to be so. I think that's wrong. We need to sit down with a calm mind, go over the decisions, and think about it. Were the decisions worth it? Were they right? Did they lead you where you wanted to go? Would you, if given a choice, go back in time and take the same decision again?
 Only you can determine your life and your life is a result of the decisions you take, so be careful, decide wisely

#3 People will Always Judge you and your choices.
 
Yes they will. Irrespective of what you do. If you don't talk they'll judge you and even if you talk they'll judge you. You wear outrageously provocative clothes or a burqa, you top the test or score a zero, They Will Judge You. It is human tendency. The best thing to do, thus, is follow your mind, do what you want and not bother about log kya kehenge. Do Not Seek Validation. You are perfect, remember that.
 Your choices, your life, don't let anyone else be a reason why you change your actions or preferences.


#4 Dream big, very Big!

 Wanna score over 90% in the upcoming test? Why not aim for 100% ? you mayn't achieve it, but hey! You may as well. You might end up with a 95%, that's better than the 90% you were aiming for na? Just dreaming isn't of course of any help, you need to work for it. Work hard. "To have something you never had, you need to do something you never did."





#5 Be with the Right Kind of people.


Be with people who share your passion, feed your soul, care about you, understand you and don't ask you to change. That my dear friends, is a simple formula for happiness. Instead of being with people who you think you'll like, be with people who genuinely like you. It's tough to figure out but then nothing is impossible. Life is too short to waste on people who don't deserve you and make you feel bad about yourself. Never let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, you are, they are just too blind to see it.




#6 Don't cry for something you didn't fight for.





If you want something fight for it, give it all you have instead of curling up in a corner and sulking about it. You need to fight your own battles, no one will do that for you. It is your life after all.




#7 Make Peace with Yourself.



Yes, make peace With yourself. Some time ago I had read that acceptance is the biggest teacher and I outright rejected it. The year slowly taught me the same lesson. If you're bad at some sport or at being a good friend or any other thing for that matter, accept that you are bad at it. It Is Fine. Only after you accept it, will you be actually ready to do something about it. Bad at Cricket? Take classes to improve your game. Pat yourself and scold yourself too. But don't let others' words affect you too much.




#8 Take a Break

 In the rush of life today, we so often forget to slow down and be grateful for our lives. We are too busy with work. Take care of yourself first. Your health and mental peace come before any test/project/deal. Ensure it. Once in a while take a break, go out , breathe the fresh air, listen to the birds chirp, feel the ground, the grass, see the vast sky. Remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing and re-energize yourself for it. Put yourself first.

Friends Perhaps

"You're the stupidest person I've ever met" read the What-I-Think-of-You section of her slam book.
That's what he thought of her? The stupidest person whom he had ever met? Really? She read and re-read it, over a dozen times until it became absolutely clear to her that what she was reading was indeed written. She traced the movement of the pen as it had glided over the paper temporarily leaving behind permanent marks which disturbed her thoughts. Not that she had special affection in reserve for him, nothing of the sort. But then they were friends and classmates; she had expected softer and sweeter words, also considering that this was perhaps their last year of being together in the same institution.
They had begun as any two friends begin- as strangers. They were however in the same class and the intersecting set of their common interests seemed to be greater than usual. So they gradually became friends. Then good friends.
Today, on the last day before the impending examinations she had brought her slam book to treasure the few people whom she actually liked in the large fair of different types of people ranging from the simpleton to the queen of faked-ness that her class was. He was among the chosen few.
Though their conversations had decreased over the course of the previous two years she felt an underlying sense of familiarity with him. A sort of connection that didn't need a formal acknowledgment. They were friends.
Yet a lot had changed in the two years. She wasn't the strong person she was at the beginning of the two years. She had turned into something she herself couldn't realize, any attempt to make her comprehend the perceptible changes met with staunch denial from her side. He had changed too, got thinner, better at studies, had a girlfriend now and was probably more widely known.
She didn't really get along with everyone in the group, she wasn't comfortable. So she changed her company but at the same time maintained her friendship with the chosen few.
This sudden distance that was evident from his comment in the book was actually not all that sudden. Though he had always kept a level of friendship and had even consoled her during one of the emotional lows, she felt herself and him as a consequence, to be different.
Her mind began to wander. Perhaps she was imagining all of it, perhaps it hadn't even occurred! She glanced at the slam book and it was the end of these doubt. New doubt cropped up in her head-on maybe she was the only one who felt the connection and not he, maybe she had imagined the entire friendship maybe she was the only one amongst the two who thought the other to be a friend and a sensible person. Maybe the world was a lie.
She started out of the window and saw the sun dipping into the water leaving behind a palette of red and orange. It seemed to be rather rough, as if the last time the brush touched it left it bruised and wounded. She saw the birds flying together in the V- formation, wondering the basis on which the order of precedence was decided. Did friends support friends? She peered down at the fence that surrounded the garden and saw a gray cat lying there on the soft green grass as it mused about thoughts unknown to man. And some, perhaps, known.

Haider: A Movie Review

Haider 

I'm writing this blog almost immediately after having watched Haider (immediately if you don't count my dinner :P) I was awaiting the movie since long and was already mesmerized by it's soulful music. Bismil and Aao na are way too good to not be favourites.


my rating- 4/5  (go watch it!)

About the movie now.
Haider has been directed by Vishal Bhardwaj and is an adaptation of Shakespeare's play hamlet. Vishal Bhardwaj has adapted the bard's play into beautiful movies before too, Maqbool (Macbeth), and Omkara (Othello) were also based on plays by him. Siddharth Roy Kapoor and Vishal Bhardwaj have co produced the film. The cast of the movie includes a melange of talent ranging from Shahid portraying the young Haider, Shraddha Kapoor playing Aisha, a journaltist, Tabu, Haider's mother, Kay Kay Menon, as Khurram Meer , Haider's uncle to Narendra Jha as Haider's father. Irrfan Khan also has a special role in the movie.

The film is set in Srinagar in 1995. Haider's father the life saving doctor brings home a wanted militant to treat him when there is a crackdown. he is taken into custody and then disappears. Young Haider returns from Aligarh to see his mother enjoying her time with Khurram, her husband's brother not long after his father was taken away. He sets out on a search to find his father who has simply disappeared. He tries every legal option and when that is exhausted resorts to unlawful ways. Haider is then determined to murder his uncle, who, he is informed, was responsible for his father's death. The film then explores the various acts of aggression and the mental upheavals experienced by a young boy.

Haider is a bold film. its a fresh piece of daring cinema. it is probably Bhardhwaj's best film so far (don't take my word for it, I haven't seen all his films) the tragic location of Kashmir fits the cinema's atmosphere perfectly and it brings forth several word-less emotions. it goes beyond the entertainment, dance-and-songs and portrays a story worth watching. the characters are all strong in there own ways and they do not try to please the audience. Haider reminded me of the kite runner, the tortured soul,  he is too. the movie calls a spade a spade. the characters play hero as well as villains at different points in the movie. it explores the various facets of the Kashmir problem and does not, at the same time, endorse any particular way or solution.
Bharadwaj explores several themes- violence is Destructive is the most dominating one. Entire families are wiped out, policemen lose their lives within the blink of an eye, the young, the old, the troubled are all a depressed lot and this is somehow augmented by the location. Clouds of smoke against the pristine white snow, pools of blood too contribute to the haunting experience. The director has also dealt with the Oedipal Complex, Haider is a man who loves his mother beyond the normal and at the same time detests her for having betrayed his father.
the dialogues are good too. sentences like 'Hum hai ya hum nahin?', bring out the unconfirmed confused identity of the people. Haider even remarks 'Pura Kashmir ek quaid khana hai'.
The movie flows beautifully before the interval, no overwhelming songs, or dances and no melodrama. The second half however feels extremely long and towards the end one gets impatient due to the lengthy duration of the film.The music is nice and rustic. Some local songs have also been incorporated like Rosh Vallo; other than Khul  Kabhi which feels unnecessary and needless, the other songs blend into the movie and transport the viewer forcing her/him to feel the emotions of the scene.
There is flawless acting on the part of Tabu. she brings out the desire of Ghazala to experience happiness in conflicting, tragic situations and be denied of it every single time. She carries a major part of the film. Kay Kay Menon convinces one of his finesse in acting, he play the villain and the hero with equal grit. Shahid in the beginning feels disconnected however gradually the actor comes to own the role, he cries, screams, laughs, fights with equal passion. Shraddha does not have much role, the little that she has, she portrays confidently.
All in all, Haider is a must watch for people who are tired of entertainment movies. It leaves the audience with food for thought and is haunting and appealing at the same time.