Of Broken Bones & Heart

I like to think that there is a formula for pain,

A formula that balances your broken bones with my broken heart.
A formula that makes it evident that sounds of silence,

Are the same as loud jarring noises on lonely nights.

One that rolls up all the soft tendrils on the edges of the garden

And makes them as comprehensible as the flowers growing within it.

It turns and twists with the sad comedy,

That comes with the undeniable truth that “pain demands to be felt”.

One that sits neatly balancing the sorrow & despair, limitless,

Within this limited world.

One that makes it easy for me to hold large lies in my small hands,

And yet fight with closed fists that cannot be broken open by the toughest machines.

I like to think that there is a formula for pain,

A formula that balances your broken bones with my broken heart.

A formula that strains into existence the reality that an injury from a wayward branch scrapping your knee

Is just as awful as the desolation that crept up in the cells of my body after my first argument with him.

A formula that equates your agony while eating pizza alone after being fired

With my heartache while having dinner with friends and family after the breakup.

I like to think that there is a formula for pain,

A formula that balances your broken bones with my broken heart.

A formula tells you & me that the maps our arteries and veins have designed on our bodies

Are the only ones we should truly follow.

One that tells you as much as it tells me 

That there are affable beings and surreal happenings,

Waiting for us on the other side of this brokenness 

That is consuming us one heartbeat at a time.

I like to think that there is a formula for pain,

A formula that balances your broken bones with my broken heart.

Of Missing You

I've missed you. Terribly. Badly. Sadly. Madly.
Let's walk under the street lights,
Talk of love, loss, life,
And also about everything nice.
Let's pour out our hearts again,
Tell me about that girl once more
And oh! your favorite teacher too!
Talk me through your last day at school and the first day you won a quiz.
Tell me.
Come with me,
Let's make up new constellations as we spent the night star gazing.
In the morning I'll take you to my favorite spot in this city, we'll click pictures there and frame them.
If hunger bothers you, don't worry there is this place that I love but don't tell people about. I'll take you there and we can devour all the food you want.
But do not forget you'll have to hear me too.
You'll have to hear me tell you about my deepest insecurities,
How every time the clouds get together my face lights up.
I'll tell you about my dream
And how snow is so amazing.
Why I think surrealism is so important and violence, not.
I'll tell you things you should know.
I've missed you. Have you?

Loyola Love

Today is the 31^st of July. 2016. That implies two things: First, today is Loyola day! And Second, I've finished school already. But I couldn’t be less excited about today. Loyola has left such a lasting impression on me, it has polished my rough edges, taught me to stand a little taller, laugh a little louder and care a lot more. I remember when I first joined school in third grade I didn’t like it, and complained to mom about how “easy” maths was in ICSE schools (I did totally regret saying that in tenth though, before the boards, you know). The school however, as it turned out was not that bad a place. Few months in and I loved it, I enjoyed coming to a place where teachers were not only teachers but friends and guides, where seniors weren’t bossy and snobbish but cool and fun (also hot).

I had two sections when I began school. What actually happened was that a Father (or who i thought was a Father) told me I belonged to one particular section so i went there not bothering to check the notice for allotted sections. When the class teacher asked about my name not being on the attendance register i said, "Father told me I was in this section". After around two weeks the class teacher of my actual allotted section realized I was in school, she came to me and said that's your section, pointing to another classroom. So I had to go. The new section was equally great, and it made me understand how comfortable i had grown to be at Loyola.

But that is not all about Loyola! Frankly, there is just so much about Loyola i couldn’t fit it in here even if i tried.  Loyola led me to discover so many things, it honed talents, built some and the best thing it never imposed conformity rules about who one should be- you do you but be kind, that's Loyola. (it is also “ In all things to love and to serve.”) Thanks to Loyola I have amazing friends, great teachers, some stupid crazy memories but many totally awesome ones too. The nuances of the mundane survival in Loyola seem like one the most magical things that happened. Few days back while talking about Loyola, my friend and I tried to figure out why we love it as much as we do; turns out that it was not that Loyola just educated us in the conventional sense(which it did) but it also taught us about things beyond the pages of a book, of things that are so necessary for surviving today which come to us as second nature because they’ve been so deeply ingrained into our personalities. It completed a huge fraction of our being. L for Loyola, L for love. Loyola is and always will be “A school with a difference!”

Existences

Source: @kashmirthroughmylens

I've been reading about people visiting Kashmir and Thailand

To find pieces of themselves

I've read them write about their conversations with silence, 

How the sight of their beloved changes the view of the world for them.

I've been reading about mountains that offer company to the loneliest of souls, 

And the seas that seem to stretch beyond the universe

People have found pieces of themselves traveling with strangers, 

While trading stories with them.

They've discovered that their true guide is the heart and not the map.

They've lived life, seen new places,

While I?
I stay here within the same geographical boundary I was a week ago and yet,
Yet, I feel I discover my existence in their words.

Will You Know?

On some evenings,
I wonder,
I wonder who painted the sky so blue,
Who mixed the day & night,
And decided that we should be.
Did He?
Or was it a She?
Was there ever any one?
Maybe the stars just exist,
And sun just shines
By the laws that we humans devised.
Perhaps, magic is just an excuse to excite ourselves,
And dreams of love are frail thoughts let loose.
Who knows?
Did the poets get a glimpse?
Or did the science men discover?
Of the great reality we talk so easily.
Will I ever know?
Will you?

Why I Won't #PrayForParis

The devastating attacks on Paris display the mindlessness of terror and its will to just kill. Paris is hurt and heavily bruised, it needs to gather its courage and stand up stronger against terror. The French President, Francois Hollande declared a state of National Emergency in the aftermath of the attacks thus making this the most painful tragedy in the Western World after 9/11. But wait, isn't the world larger than just the Western World?
Shouldn't the Syrian Refugee Crisis be given similar importance? Those refugees are running away from the same terror that France experienced for three hours, only those three hours are 24*7 for them. They are forever uncertain of their life in their own country and have had to leave it in order to just survive. People have left with hardly any material possessions, they gave up their claims on the houses that took them years to build , the play grounds their children grew up in and on all their favorite dinner restaurants and places of worship. They suffer too, I would say more than France, although terror is terror and it is unfair to compare. But no, I will. Terrorized French nationals have a place to go to at night, however the refugees have no proper roof over their heads.
Lebanon and other countries in the Middle East have been burning since several years and yet the leaders of the world refuse to sit down and decide on a foolproof policy to bring about peace.
Beirut suffered heavy bombings two days before the Paris tragedy but not even half of the coverage given to the French attacks by the international media were given to the Beirut bombings. Middle East has been burning, and continues to do so. It is time that we address the issue and not selective victims: terror needs to be minimized if it can not be completely eradicated, countries that are affected by terror need to be shown equal solidarity irrespective of them being third world countries or members of the Big Five.
Also, as Joan Sfar a Charlie Hebdo cartoonist points out, "Pray for Paris" is a misnomer. We don't need more religion. The people who carried out the inhumanly attacks were too driven by religion (on a level of fanaticism). Religion is not the answer, faith, love and support, I feel are the answers, not only for Paris but for the entire world today.
So when you update your status on the numerous social networking sites today, remember to hash-tag them with love and support, not only for Paris but also for the entire world. :)

This Identity?

Give yourself a fictitious identity
And live it for a few days.
See the world through those eyes.

Feel the fears, the cheers, the love and the hate.
Laugh at every moment you wish to, 
And dance when ever the music demands.
Be spontaneous. Make friends, appreciate art, cry about the things that worry you.

Love like you've never loved before, 
Like you have only few days on this planet to exist,
To distribute the limitless amount of love you've been gifted with.

Be a traveler on a path you've always been a tourist on.
Make the mistakes you always wanted to.
Be afraid of nothing and live like there actually is no tomorrow.

Stay up all night. 
Talk about stardust, fairies, molecules and pizza.
Tell your deepest secrets, feel fully your inhibitions.
Realize that both you and the night are only as old as you want it to be.

Talk non-stop but enjoy also the few moments of silence when the world slows down,
And it feels like the time has frozen.
Notice the leaves, the puddles, the grass below your feet.

Meet strangers- confide in them your troubles, your dreams and aspirations.
Listen to them too- to their worries, happiness and musings.
And then go away from them, 
Like a minute of an hour that never returns.

Stay away from people,
Or stay with them,
But don't lose yourself.
Remind yourself of your importance,
Of how you are an entire universe within yourself.

Live the fictitious identity any way you wish,
Be someone you don't know,
Or someone you want to know,
Or be someone you've always known.

Travel, Just Travel.

Travel my dear child, from this end of the world to the other,
and then realize that there is no end- the world is round.

Travel meet new people and hear their stories and realize that everyone though has different embellishments the emotions are same.Travel, climb mountains, ford streams, chase rainbows
and then realize the climb is the same.
Travel, breathe in the air of different places, of cold lands and that of hot ones and then realize that you just breathe it in,
Travel, wear different dresses and accessories, roam around in them, then realize that every cloth is for covering one's body
Travel, learn new languages, speak them, realize that they express the same emotions in every language.

Travel, play new games and indulge in varied sports and then realize that all of them are for the purpose of human fitness and entertainment,
Travel, see new roads and lanes, follow them or let them follow you endlessly, and realize that they take you only where you want to go, all of them.
Travel, look out at the trees, observe their minute differences, then realize how man everywhere has used them to his own benefit,
Travel, look at the different animals, see them walk around, realize all exist for the purpose of existing,
Travel, see different lands, high and low, and realize that ultimately you walk on them or at least desire to.

Travel, go to new countries, live in their environment,  then realize that no country is free from troubles and all of them are trying to tackle them,
Travel, see new pieces of art, appreciate them, and realize that they are all expressions of human intellect and are all inter twined,
Travel, eat different foods, relish them, and then realize that they all exist to satisfy man's hunger.

Travel, see buildings, malls, schools, shops, realize their importance in our everyday life.
Travel, look at the mountains, rivers, falls, clouds, feel them and realize that nature has its own way of expressing its love and intellectual capacities.

Travel my dear child, feel new emotions, make memories, capture them.
Let them become a part of the mosaic that you are.

And then realize they made you a richer and better person.

A New Morning #2

This is a continuation of a post I wrote in February, click here to read the preceding part.

It was her first day in the college and she had, in her excitement, forgotten to silence her phone.
The phone rang all of a sudden and everyone stared at her. She was too embarrassed to return their penetrating looks. Her slim hand with the blue bracelet which clearly showed her eclectic preferences in fashion, jerked rather roughly, as if it was awoken from a long peaceful slumber. Her fingers groped the phone and she rejected the call before unlocking her phone and activating the silent mode. She promptly got up after doing this, adjusting her blue jeans which hung attentively at her waist and pulled it up for better fitting and apologized to the professor in the classroom assuring him that such an incident would not be repeated.
The professor spilled a few words in anger and then said to her, "Sit down."
The class was over within an hour and she grabbed her classmate-cum-roommate-cum-friend, took her under the shady tree which was first among the line of a huge number of trees and was nearest to the entrance gate of the college. She pulled out her phone, which bore enough evidence of having been purchased recently, and checked the person who was responsible for the happenings of the day. Seeing the name, her face slowly lit up.

She pressed the call icon on the screen and waited to be connected. Each second of waiting made her more anxious, she hoped it was good news on the other end.

Suddenly a rough voice shook her out of her worries, "hello... Hello?"

"Hey Sam, it's me.", she said rather softly "sorry.. I was in the midst of a lecture, had to reject the call. Any success?"

The jarring voice spoke again, this time more tenderly, " Well yeah, I called to inform you about that. I got the number; should I message it to you?"

"Sure, do."

She saw a petite figure approaching in a saree with a purse at her elbow, the sunlight made it difficult to discern any more. The figure was approaching them and her friend, being the adventurous one rushed to find out who it was. She could see her friend folding her hands into a namaste, then turn to her and wave her hand across her neck to motion her to end the call. She understood the signal and hung up after an abrupt bye. Her friend reached her within seconds of her ending the call. With the figure.

.... to be continued.

Te Amo

( Gosh, my love for Spain and Spanish seems to be spilling into the titles! :P English next time, promise! )

Love. It is really one of the most used and abused word in our vocabularies. Ask a guy who hardly knows English, he will invariably know the meaning of 'love' even if he doesn't know the number of alphabets in the language! Love has been romanticized, idealized, worshiped and what not in the past. There are legendary love stories, pray, who hasn't heard of Romeo and Juliet? Or our very own Heer and Ranjhanna? Bollywood churns out movie after movie on the same theme : love. Our daily soaps cry for change!
(Obviously it's of no avail. )
Here I'm not going to further raise the status of love but rather present my views on it. They may, rather, they are cynical, but are mine and in no way wish to alter your views forcefully on the subject.
Love to me is humorous, silly. 

1. People in love are always consumed in thoughts
Thoughts about? Heavens know what! But you always see them thinking, musing with all seriousness, as if the future of the human race hangs on their pensive thoughts. Break their train of thoughts and they still seem disconnected. You have to repeat your description (from the beginning, yes!) for them all again. 

Yeah!

2. The wrong people always end up together.
The people who you least expect to see together take their vows of eternal love in front of your eyes! The Byronic hero/heroine gets the athlete, the poet gets the cheerleader, the sports king/queen gets the extrovert, and so on.. And even though reading them here does not make you realize the intensity of harm done to the universe by such "couples", you should take my word for it. It is always weird, at times super-funny too!

3. PDA
Need I say more? 

4.Silly names, rituals and wishes
Why on earth will you be liked to be called "puchu", "guchu" or wait, how about "tweety"? There are tons more I've heard people say. Some force you to stifle a laughter and look all serious and continue with utmost normalcy whatever you were doing. Tough.
Good morning, goodnight, good class, etc., etc. The wishes and simultaneous rituals don't seem to have an end. Exhausting. 

5. Stories you don't wish to hear.
Everyone has that one friend who tells you snippets of their life, even though you beg them to stop. From how they picked up their partner's pen to what the other has/had for lunch, nothing is left out and while your friend is telling you about it, you are busy planning an escape route! God be with you!