Loyola Love

Today is the 31^st of July. 2016. That implies two things: First, today is Loyola day! And Second, I've finished school already. But I couldn’t be less excited about today. Loyola has left such a lasting impression on me, it has polished my rough edges, taught me to stand a little taller, laugh a little louder and care a lot more. I remember when I first joined school in third grade I didn’t like it, and complained to mom about how “easy” maths was in ICSE schools (I did totally regret saying that in tenth though, before the boards, you know). The school however, as it turned out was not that bad a place. Few months in and I loved it, I enjoyed coming to a place where teachers were not only teachers but friends and guides, where seniors weren’t bossy and snobbish but cool and fun (also hot).

I had two sections when I began school. What actually happened was that a Father (or who i thought was a Father) told me I belonged to one particular section so i went there not bothering to check the notice for allotted sections. When the class teacher asked about my name not being on the attendance register i said, "Father told me I was in this section". After around two weeks the class teacher of my actual allotted section realized I was in school, she came to me and said that's your section, pointing to another classroom. So I had to go. The new section was equally great, and it made me understand how comfortable i had grown to be at Loyola.

But that is not all about Loyola! Frankly, there is just so much about Loyola i couldn’t fit it in here even if i tried.  Loyola led me to discover so many things, it honed talents, built some and the best thing it never imposed conformity rules about who one should be- you do you but be kind, that's Loyola. (it is also “ In all things to love and to serve.”) Thanks to Loyola I have amazing friends, great teachers, some stupid crazy memories but many totally awesome ones too. The nuances of the mundane survival in Loyola seem like one the most magical things that happened. Few days back while talking about Loyola, my friend and I tried to figure out why we love it as much as we do; turns out that it was not that Loyola just educated us in the conventional sense(which it did) but it also taught us about things beyond the pages of a book, of things that are so necessary for surviving today which come to us as second nature because they’ve been so deeply ingrained into our personalities. It completed a huge fraction of our being. L for Loyola, L for love. Loyola is and always will be “A school with a difference!”

Of Stress, Exams, and Me

I am so stressed at the moment, nothing is able to calm me down. I feel like a volcano which is going to explode any second now. So I decided to vent out on the blog. my pre-ISC are due 14 days from now, ...And the syllabus needless to say is humongous & I needless to say, haven't finished it. It is now that I see the glaring loop-holes of our education system  crystal clear, mocking me for falling prey to them. So much theory, so much theory, so much theory, I feel like I'm compiling an encyclopedia in my notes. There are so many concepts, so many finer aspects, so much to understand and learn that it has overwhelmed me right now. 
I have five subjects, out of which Political Science is my least favorite. I mean I love reading about American Congress and stuff but then don't ask me memorize it and reproduce it on my exam sheet. It stresses me out. I mean there is so much we all know which we don't write down but then we still know it na? It is still there in our memory. A few chapters to comprehend and mug up are okay, but then sooooo many? Really? What are we? Machines? or better, Microsoft Word? I am aware that writing long answers is a way of testing our understanding of the concepts and grasp of the subject but hello, there are other ways too, which are less stressful for students like multiple choice questions, weekly tests, practical application tests, etc, etc.
It is my fault also, I agree, I can't remember stuff for long; like I can remember them fairly long but not like very long. I have to read so many chapters that suppose I read chapter one today, by the time I read chapter 20 I will have forgotten the details of the first chapter. It is obviously common with everyone, but it at the moment frightens me.

What if I don't do well in my pre-boards? Some colleges check these marks for admission and, as if there are many seats for a 'general' student. SCs and STs get 50% seats, students of the state get 10% . Considering that there are 60 seats, 60% are already reserved, so I have to compete in the remaining 24 seats where students from all over the country are applying?! Not that I doubt my abilities or my getting into a good college but then it scares me. Other colleges take boards marks into consideration. What if I spoil it there? Then? What next?

And even though it'd be wiser if I stopped writing this post now and went off to study, I don't want to . SEE! That's the kind of pressure I am under -- every second I spend doing anything other than studying I feel Guilty. I feel defeated, like I am cheating my own self into a bad life. My friends say I stress too much but then there is simply no way I can stop it from happening it isn't like I tell myself "Let's start to stress and then I start. No no no. It just kicks in. They say stress is harmful for me but then isn't not studying, scoring low, not getting into the college I wish to, not being to prove myself both as a remarkable female and a human, ruining my life harmful too? My parents are thankfully the cooperative ones. They don't fret if I get low marks but then I fret. They are my marks na! How do I not? There's simply so much to study & learn.

 I feel better now. The magma is receding and the surrounding atmosphere is cooling down. And also when you read this don't take all my words very very seriously, I was stressed after all! ;)