Teacher 2014

I've been meaning to write this post for quite a while now, but due to my impending examinations (just 6 days away) I kept delaying it, putting it off until all my exams got over (that would be 15th of January) but being the impulsive writer that I am I couldn't really contain myself anymore. Too much to ask for.:P


So I've decided to put up what I learned this year in this particular post . Obviously I cant put up Everything, the highlights maybe. This is was typically different for me. I don't even remember this year in a proper chronology! As in what happened when and then what happened and so on (you get it, right? ) I don't even remember this year's festivals properly! (except Diwali somehow :P) So here it goes.

#1 People Are Not What They Seem, Always.
 When we meet someone for the first time we form an impression about them, positive or negative, but we always do. There are many things that contribute to this impression, for example you may have heard about the person from  gossips. And then when you meet them you already have a layer of introduction about them in your mind. As your conversations progress you form a rough idea of how the person perhaps is.
But then here lies the catch. People are not what they seem. The Sweet girl you met may not really be so sweet- well she can even be a serial killer, you never know! And the boy whom you found Super-Rude? probably he has a dysfunctional family and needs you the most.

 #2 Go back to the roots, Introspect.
When I began to really dislike One Direction ( You & I, was that even a proper video! >_<) I started to wonder why I even liked this band in the first place.What Makes You Beautiful came to the rescue, like seriously!
And then I realized as we grow we just keep going on with our choices without re-evaluating them, trusting that the decisions we made in the past were be right and will probably continue to be so. I think that's wrong. We need to sit down with a calm mind, go over the decisions, and think about it. Were the decisions worth it? Were they right? Did they lead you where you wanted to go? Would you, if given a choice, go back in time and take the same decision again?
 Only you can determine your life and your life is a result of the decisions you take, so be careful, decide wisely

#3 People will Always Judge you and your choices.
 
Yes they will. Irrespective of what you do. If you don't talk they'll judge you and even if you talk they'll judge you. You wear outrageously provocative clothes or a burqa, you top the test or score a zero, They Will Judge You. It is human tendency. The best thing to do, thus, is follow your mind, do what you want and not bother about log kya kehenge. Do Not Seek Validation. You are perfect, remember that.
 Your choices, your life, don't let anyone else be a reason why you change your actions or preferences.


#4 Dream big, very Big!

 Wanna score over 90% in the upcoming test? Why not aim for 100% ? you mayn't achieve it, but hey! You may as well. You might end up with a 95%, that's better than the 90% you were aiming for na? Just dreaming isn't of course of any help, you need to work for it. Work hard. "To have something you never had, you need to do something you never did."





#5 Be with the Right Kind of people.


Be with people who share your passion, feed your soul, care about you, understand you and don't ask you to change. That my dear friends, is a simple formula for happiness. Instead of being with people who you think you'll like, be with people who genuinely like you. It's tough to figure out but then nothing is impossible. Life is too short to waste on people who don't deserve you and make you feel bad about yourself. Never let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, you are, they are just too blind to see it.




#6 Don't cry for something you didn't fight for.





If you want something fight for it, give it all you have instead of curling up in a corner and sulking about it. You need to fight your own battles, no one will do that for you. It is your life after all.




#7 Make Peace with Yourself.



Yes, make peace With yourself. Some time ago I had read that acceptance is the biggest teacher and I outright rejected it. The year slowly taught me the same lesson. If you're bad at some sport or at being a good friend or any other thing for that matter, accept that you are bad at it. It Is Fine. Only after you accept it, will you be actually ready to do something about it. Bad at Cricket? Take classes to improve your game. Pat yourself and scold yourself too. But don't let others' words affect you too much.




#8 Take a Break

 In the rush of life today, we so often forget to slow down and be grateful for our lives. We are too busy with work. Take care of yourself first. Your health and mental peace come before any test/project/deal. Ensure it. Once in a while take a break, go out , breathe the fresh air, listen to the birds chirp, feel the ground, the grass, see the vast sky. Remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing and re-energize yourself for it. Put yourself first.

Friends Perhaps

"You're the stupidest person I've ever met" read the What-I-Think-of-You section of her slam book.
That's what he thought of her? The stupidest person whom he had ever met? Really? She read and re-read it, over a dozen times until it became absolutely clear to her that what she was reading was indeed written. She traced the movement of the pen as it had glided over the paper temporarily leaving behind permanent marks which disturbed her thoughts. Not that she had special affection in reserve for him, nothing of the sort. But then they were friends and classmates; she had expected softer and sweeter words, also considering that this was perhaps their last year of being together in the same institution.
They had begun as any two friends begin- as strangers. They were however in the same class and the intersecting set of their common interests seemed to be greater than usual. So they gradually became friends. Then good friends.
Today, on the last day before the impending examinations she had brought her slam book to treasure the few people whom she actually liked in the large fair of different types of people ranging from the simpleton to the queen of faked-ness that her class was. He was among the chosen few.
Though their conversations had decreased over the course of the previous two years she felt an underlying sense of familiarity with him. A sort of connection that didn't need a formal acknowledgment. They were friends.
Yet a lot had changed in the two years. She wasn't the strong person she was at the beginning of the two years. She had turned into something she herself couldn't realize, any attempt to make her comprehend the perceptible changes met with staunch denial from her side. He had changed too, got thinner, better at studies, had a girlfriend now and was probably more widely known.
She didn't really get along with everyone in the group, she wasn't comfortable. So she changed her company but at the same time maintained her friendship with the chosen few.
This sudden distance that was evident from his comment in the book was actually not all that sudden. Though he had always kept a level of friendship and had even consoled her during one of the emotional lows, she felt herself and him as a consequence, to be different.
Her mind began to wander. Perhaps she was imagining all of it, perhaps it hadn't even occurred! She glanced at the slam book and it was the end of these doubt. New doubt cropped up in her head-on maybe she was the only one who felt the connection and not he, maybe she had imagined the entire friendship maybe she was the only one amongst the two who thought the other to be a friend and a sensible person. Maybe the world was a lie.
She started out of the window and saw the sun dipping into the water leaving behind a palette of red and orange. It seemed to be rather rough, as if the last time the brush touched it left it bruised and wounded. She saw the birds flying together in the V- formation, wondering the basis on which the order of precedence was decided. Did friends support friends? She peered down at the fence that surrounded the garden and saw a gray cat lying there on the soft green grass as it mused about thoughts unknown to man. And some, perhaps, known.

Of Stress, Exams, and Me

I am so stressed at the moment, nothing is able to calm me down. I feel like a volcano which is going to explode any second now. So I decided to vent out on the blog. my pre-ISC are due 14 days from now, ...And the syllabus needless to say is humongous & I needless to say, haven't finished it. It is now that I see the glaring loop-holes of our education system  crystal clear, mocking me for falling prey to them. So much theory, so much theory, so much theory, I feel like I'm compiling an encyclopedia in my notes. There are so many concepts, so many finer aspects, so much to understand and learn that it has overwhelmed me right now. 
I have five subjects, out of which Political Science is my least favorite. I mean I love reading about American Congress and stuff but then don't ask me memorize it and reproduce it on my exam sheet. It stresses me out. I mean there is so much we all know which we don't write down but then we still know it na? It is still there in our memory. A few chapters to comprehend and mug up are okay, but then sooooo many? Really? What are we? Machines? or better, Microsoft Word? I am aware that writing long answers is a way of testing our understanding of the concepts and grasp of the subject but hello, there are other ways too, which are less stressful for students like multiple choice questions, weekly tests, practical application tests, etc, etc.
It is my fault also, I agree, I can't remember stuff for long; like I can remember them fairly long but not like very long. I have to read so many chapters that suppose I read chapter one today, by the time I read chapter 20 I will have forgotten the details of the first chapter. It is obviously common with everyone, but it at the moment frightens me.

What if I don't do well in my pre-boards? Some colleges check these marks for admission and, as if there are many seats for a 'general' student. SCs and STs get 50% seats, students of the state get 10% . Considering that there are 60 seats, 60% are already reserved, so I have to compete in the remaining 24 seats where students from all over the country are applying?! Not that I doubt my abilities or my getting into a good college but then it scares me. Other colleges take boards marks into consideration. What if I spoil it there? Then? What next?

And even though it'd be wiser if I stopped writing this post now and went off to study, I don't want to . SEE! That's the kind of pressure I am under -- every second I spend doing anything other than studying I feel Guilty. I feel defeated, like I am cheating my own self into a bad life. My friends say I stress too much but then there is simply no way I can stop it from happening it isn't like I tell myself "Let's start to stress and then I start. No no no. It just kicks in. They say stress is harmful for me but then isn't not studying, scoring low, not getting into the college I wish to, not being to prove myself both as a remarkable female and a human, ruining my life harmful too? My parents are thankfully the cooperative ones. They don't fret if I get low marks but then I fret. They are my marks na! How do I not? There's simply so much to study & learn.

 I feel better now. The magma is receding and the surrounding atmosphere is cooling down. And also when you read this don't take all my words very very seriously, I was stressed after all! ;)